Sometimes the best mind tricks in the world can't help me escape the true depth of sadness and pain I feel over losing you. There are days where the pain in my heart is suffocating.  Where words can't begin to capture what needs to be said.  That the tears won't even flow because I am terrified that in allowing them to come, only forces me to see the truth.  That you aren't coming back.  That there is no light at the end of this tunnel, that you're not just somewhere else.  That today like tomorrow contains heartache and sadness.  I want to reach in to this photo.  Touch your milky white skin, sing hello in your ear and scoop you up and never let you go.  Day after day I talk to people about loss.  I work with people on moving through it, in their own way.  I carry the truth silently, that for me I am drowning in my loss.  That for me you are everywhere but nowhere and I can't get back to you. There is no peace, how could there be.  You're not in my arms where you should be and I can't explain how horrific that is.